Trolling Noobs Asking to Hack Whatsapp, Facebook, Gmail…

When I get noobs asking me to give them hacking software for Whatsapp, Facebook, Gmail etc it makes me want to commit some form of major attrocity, the only way I can make myself feel a little better in my response is to do some trolling of my own by creating some hacky looking Batch files that looks like a noobs paradise.

I must say how much it still amazes how these people are happy to blindly download and run an executable a stranger has sent to them that could include keyloggers, reverse shells, a script that deletes the entire hardrive or holds it to ransom… the possibilities are endless. Fortunately because we are nice, we wouldn’t do any of the aforementioned to anyone (regardless of how irritating they are)

It should be noted my scripts are purely benign and just make the noob think it is running a hacking program, when in fact all it is doing is chucking random green text around the cmd terminal in an endless loop.

Here is what my troll script does:

Asks for a key to decrypt, this is hardcoded into the batch file and provided to the noob

Once the correct key has been typed in it will then produce a successful message that then outputs a loading screen that is based from sending a few pings to localhost (no it won’t cause a DOS…. and if it does then the computer belongs in the bin)

 

The noob will get a message saying “key loaded, press any key to begin decryption”

 

Once any key is pressed the cmd terminal will chuck out some matrix type output and random green characters in an endless loop. How long will the noob leave it “decrypting” TROLOLOL

In the final version I turned it into a .exe using open source batch to exe file conversion software and named the file something like: “WhatsApp_decryption_tool_v1.3.exe”

The code for my benign batch file is listed below if you want to modify, improve it etc

@echo off
:begin
cls
color 0a
echo -----------------------------------------------------
echo    WhatsApp decryption tool v1.3
echo -----------------------------------------------------
echo                  _________-----_____
echo        ____------           __      ----_
echo  ___----             ___------              \
echo     ----________        ----                 \
echo                -----__    ^|             _____)
echo                     __-                /     \
echo         _______-----    ___--          \    /)\
echo   ------_______      ---____            \__/  /
echo                -----__    \ --    _          /\
echo                       --__--__     \_____/   \_/\
echo                               ---^|   /          ^|
echo                                  ^| ^|___________^|
echo                                  ^| ^| ((_(_)^| )_)
echo                                  ^|  \_((_(_)^|/(_)
echo                                   \             (
echo                                    \_____________)
echo +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
echo -----------------------------------------------------
echo    Enter key to be decrypted.....
echo -----------------------------------------------------
@echo:
SET /P var= Enter your encrypted key: 
IF  /I "%var%" NEQ "wDLAW73HEKD73JEHR3N" (
    echo Key not recognised
	Timeout /T 1 /NOBREAK > NUL
    GOTO begin
)
echo Key accepted
Timeout /T 2 /NOBREAK > NUL
cls
echo    Loading...        Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo                                 =   0 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 2 >nul
cls

echo    Loading.          Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo []                              =   5 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 3 >nul
cls
echo    Loading..         Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][]                            =  15 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 2 >nul
cls
echo    Loading...        Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][]                          =  23 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 3 >nul
cls
echo    Loading.          Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][]                        =  30 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 4 >nul
cls
echo    Loading..         Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][]                      =  38 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 2 >nul
cls
echo    Loading...        Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][]                      =  42 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 3 >nul
cls
echo    Loading.          Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][]                    =  45 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 1 >nul
cls
echo    Loading..         Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][]                  =  48 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 3 >nul
cls
echo    Loading...        Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][][]                =  50 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 3 >nul
cls
echo    Loading.           Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][][][]              =  56 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 2 >nul
cls
echo    Loading..         Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][][][][]            =  63 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 2 >nul
cls
echo    Loading...        Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][][][][][]          =  69 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 3 >nul
cls
echo    Loading.          Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][][][][][][]        =  75 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 2 >nul
cls
echo    Loading..         Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][][][][][][][]      =  79 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 3 >nul
cls
echo    Loading...        Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][][][][][][][][]    =  86 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 2 >nul
cls
echo    Loading.          Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]  =  90 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 3 >nul
cls
echo    Loading..         Please Wait
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]  =  96 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
ping localhost -n 3 >nul
cls
Timeout /T 3 /NOBREAK > NUL
echo    Loading...        .Complete.
echo ---------------------------------------
echo [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]= 100 ]
echo ---------------------------------------
echo.
echo key loaded, press any key to begin decryption
pause


:start2 
echo %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% 
goto start2

Loading